Diego's Confessions

Wrote this a little while ago.

1. I've been struggling with my weight since I was 9. I don't think I've ever felt comfortable in my own skin.

2. I started shaving my legs in the 4th grade because kids are mean and wouldn't stop teasing me about my legs.

3. Love has fooled me twice. I believe it has led me to become a very bitter person.

4. I have a dark secret that I've never been able to admit to my family. I'm hoping as time goes by I can get it off my chest.

5. Sarcasm is my shield.

6. I'm not ashamed of my job. I'm a bartender, but I've let close friends and family make me fill ashamed of it.

7. It's taken me 3 years after graduating from college to figure out what I really want. I plan to open my own restaurant in the next 5-8 years. Who wants to be my business partner?

8. I totaled my first car, a Mercedes, by hitting a Jaguar. The driver was 70 years old. I had the cop laugh at me because I was 17 and on my way to school in my catholic school uniform. *oh death*

9. Waking up to snow is, ironically, the warmest feeling I have.

10. I won $4 grand in a bet my father made with me to lose weight. I won and a week later he deposited that money into my account. I still have it saved.

11. My grandfather has been the only man to make me feel beautiful.

12. I drink red wine and coke. YES, it sounds gross, but try it.

13. I had to have an emergency operation in the Dominican Republic to take out my appendix that was about to explode. It was New Years Day and I mistook the stomach pains for a hangover. The hospital didn't have a surgeon at 4am so they flew one in from Cuba. The same surgeon proceeded to hit on my mother after my operation and asked if she had been a Miss America. *sigh*

14. The worst date I have ever been on was in high school. My crush finally asked me out and took me to a porn shop. I've learned to let crushes just BE crushes.

15. I'm a good dancer and I love to dance. I even TOOK dance. Nowadays, my insecurities stop me from dancing. I was meant to be a clubber. Scary.

16. I have a problem listening to music, because I connect certain parts/people of my life to music.

17. I fall for celebrity gossip. Yup. pinkisthenewblog.com

18. I was almost born on the 4th of July. The doctor told my mom she should have waited a few more hours. She asked what for? We're Spanish.

19. I curse enough to make a fleet of sailors blush.

20. I'm supposed to wear glasses all the time. I only wear them when I drive. People look better without them. When I used to serve I wore them on my head in case I was too far away from my section and had to see if they needed anything.

21. As a bartender, I've given someone a New Jersey Turnpike shot for being an asshole. If you don't know what that is. It's the liquid and spilled liquor in a bar mat drained into a shot glass.

22. I used to wear a ring on every one of my fingers except my thumbs in High School.

23. I've had an illustration published as a book cover.

24. I'm turning into my mother, but I definitely look like my father. I also have a ton of gray hair that I will, no joke, have to start to dye soon.

25. Laughing for me is better than sex. If you can make me laugh to tears, you know I'm actually laughing. I cry when I laugh and I can't stop. I think it's the most visual of all my feelings. This probably explains my weird obsession with stand-up comedy, comedians, and I automatically attach myself to people who make me laugh and vice-versa.