Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool. Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

This is preventing me from falling asleep.

http://people.ambrosiasw.com/~andrew/funny/bloodcyber.html

I cannot stop laughing for the life of me.

If you don't' know me, I never graduated the 4th grade.

Note to self

Don't go see scary movies (like The Collector) when you:

a) Live alone
b) Have to return home to walk your dog out in a dark, poorly lit park. Alone.
c) Dog is too small to protect you from a fly.

Growl.

The hardest thing to do is to remove someone from your life without killing them.


WAAAIT that came out wrong.

Ok so it's hard to have someone disappear from your life if they are not dead. Ugh.


Sometimes I would wish I never met you.
Now I wish it all the time.
You make me a bitter person.
And for that I say, fuck you.