A fun entry I wrote back in October 2003

Never:
~Study art history for six hours and not expect a migraine and a profound hate for Matisse
~Procrastinate
~Go to the gym and stuff yourself with chinese food and burger king all weekend. rather stupid.
~Procrastinate
~Drink Jack Daniels in a room of horny people a.k.a. Julia and Simran (love you!)
~Procrastinate
~Pay 15 dollars for one hookah and a drink
~Procrastinate
~Take biology. Such a waste of time. Especially when you spend a good 2 to 4 hours of your afternoon working on a lab by counting every fuckin' tree,plant,flower, squirrel, pigeon..etc..on campus
~Go through all the shit you have to do in the following week in your head repeatedly and not expect to be stressed out of your bloody mind.
~Smoke ciggarettes. Thank you, Josh
~Wear boots for more time than it's necessary. ouch
~Update posts like this when in such a weird mood
~Spend more money than you should when you have no source of INCOME. fuckin' a.
~Close the door when Julia is playing the piano. her music and voice will lift your bad mood in a minute. tops.
~Watch late night television on HBO. Rose Mcgowen blows.
~Take things too seriously and accept sarcasm ;)
~Wear rings when trying to write for hours on end. It hurts.
~Give people your immediate trust, but give them the benefit of the doubt
~Take advantage of the friends you have. you'll regret it.
~Don't let friends become alcoholics *cough*josh/simran*cough*
~Steal books from Independent bookstores *head down in shame*
~Countdown. It makes time pass by even slower!
~Depend on everything to turn out the way you expect it. I've heard God laughs when you plan.
Procrastinate

Always:
~Drink coffee if you expect to stay awake past midnight
~Wear big sweaters when you feel fat (hide it! yay!)
~Smoke more hookahs
~Take aspirin/alieve/tylenol for headaches. Don't expect it to go away by itself, Ana.
~Make time to say hello to others, even when you're bogged down with shit
~Call home
~Smile more
~Set aside your problems for a change and try not to b!tch and whine all the damn time.
~Remember things will turn out fine in the end whether you believe it or not
~Restrain yourself from slapping the person next to you when in a bad mood
~Smile and nod, and let it go
~Remember that your professors are not out to fail you (yeah..riiiight)
~Take the trash out. It fuckin' smells.
~Listen to RCV 22:20 by Pucifer.It's so sexy
~Let out your sexual frustrations by playing songs that turn you on. And yes, invite a friend over to bond over these songs. (hey, we're all sexually ambigious here. hush now)
~Tell the person who makes you smile the most, that they do so. Mean it.
~Turn off the lights!!! (*grin*)
~Give people a second chance
~Say I love you or I miss you when you mean it. Don't let it lose it's worth and value.
~Quote Eddie Izzard or Strongbad if you want to laugh for no reason :)
~Draw furiously and without restraint. Don't use erasers! bad bad!
~Know when to stop this nonsense.



.Done.

Apologies..well no, I'm not sorry.

I am sorry I've neglected to write here, but my excuse is valid. I found a life.
Ok, I know that sounds harsh. Let me rephrase. I found love.

Ugh, now that sounds cheesy as hell.

I found purpose? I found a reason to wake up in the morning? I found something to look forward to at the end of the day instead of coffee, cigarettes, and chocolate?

You may be wondering if I'm talking about my dog, Kali. Even though she never lets me feel lonely and I love her to death, I'm talking about a real human being. Heh.

I feel strange. A good strange. I can't keep a straight face when I say "boyfriend" because to be VERY frank, I've never had someone to call my boyfriend. I've had the "man-friend" which always means, friends with benefits, but believe me...there are no benefits in a relationship like that. I've had a slew of awkward dates, good dates, bad dates, but no real connection. Dating is such a chore.

Then the moment I stopped thinking about finding someone else, new, love...


Adam.

Someone I met 4 years ago, but I was so blinded by someone else to really notice. I kick myself daily.
My life feels a little upside down, but if anything, I feel so confident in myself when I'm around him. I can be myself. No judgment, no looks, no molding my responses to make sure it suits him. I am, for the first time, starting to love being me.

I'm pretty awesome. Yes, hold your applause till later, thank you.

So for everyone questioning what is up with me, I'm in love.



Ciao.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool. Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

This is preventing me from falling asleep.

http://people.ambrosiasw.com/~andrew/funny/bloodcyber.html

I cannot stop laughing for the life of me.

If you don't' know me, I never graduated the 4th grade.

Note to self

Don't go see scary movies (like The Collector) when you:

a) Live alone
b) Have to return home to walk your dog out in a dark, poorly lit park. Alone.
c) Dog is too small to protect you from a fly.

Growl.

The hardest thing to do is to remove someone from your life without killing them.


WAAAIT that came out wrong.

Ok so it's hard to have someone disappear from your life if they are not dead. Ugh.


Sometimes I would wish I never met you.
Now I wish it all the time.
You make me a bitter person.
And for that I say, fuck you.

FLAKE!

Flakiness.

Is that a word? It is now. It's a noun and can also be an adjective, like, "this flaky douche bag has really pissed me off today"

The example is also why I'm even writing about this.

We're grown ass adults, with schedules, jobs, lives, if I work around your schedule and when YOU are free...it's most likely because I want to see you. I feel those that sacrifice their time are those that really want to be with you. Of course, being in someone's company should not have to mean they must make sacrifices, but in this case, yes. I'm sacrificing time that can be spent working on a paper. Grant it, it's a short paper and it requires me to compare to types of canned beans...organic and not organic. The life of an aspiring restaurateur is never dull. Ahem.

Ok. So I went to throw away a to-go box and I'm suddenly not bothered anymore. If anything, I really don't feel bad about not seeing this person today. Almost relieved.

Huh.

My anger really peaks, but it's gone faster than it came. (HA...that's what she said)


I'm off.

Frustrated.

I don't smell. That bad.
I'm pretty. When I want to be.
I'm not fat. Certainly not skinny.

I need sex.

It's been awhile.

This isn't livejournal.

So. I've returned to the internet to write again. This time it may be longer than 140 characters and it is not Livejournal! I graduated high-school back in '02. It's about time I cancel Livejournal.
A little about me.
I'm 25.
Like most people my age, I don't know what's going on or what I really see happening in the foreseeable future, but I do know that plans are good.
I'm a bartender. It's not that glamorous.
About a month ago, My parents surprised me with a little puppy.
She's adorable
She's not house-trained-so I'm a liiiiittle stressed out with it.
She is my world.
I'm currently working on a second degree in Hospitality management through the Art Institute (Online). Again, not so glamorous. Ha.

Because of these three things, I feel like my life is slipping away. I don't go out anymore, I'm completely stressed, and I'm resenting my co-workers.
To boot, my best friend moved to Israel yesterday for a year. Ouch.


This is not a sob story. This is me trying to find a way to distress before I go nuts.

To not appear like a completely sarcastic and cynical person,

Wait.

I am.


Ciao.